I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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