that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
