i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
