I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Welp...herpes.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
