That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Randomize
