We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
