Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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