I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Randomize
