Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
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I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize