even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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