well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
