operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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