Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
These tits shall not be calmed
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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