Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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