I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
