i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
