watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
