Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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