I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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