Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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