Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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