If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
