Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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