You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
