I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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