i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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