where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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