dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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