she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize