i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
