is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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