I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize
