Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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