Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
