youre lurking in front of me
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
