don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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