My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I am puke
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
