I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Randomize
