i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize