i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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