I need help removing her.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
thus making me awesome and them whores
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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