and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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