Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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