i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
