No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm passing your future prison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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