the day after is always just damage control
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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