i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
