You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
