Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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