Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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