I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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