Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Randomize
