Define "chronic" masturbator.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
