im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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