I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
