i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
