I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Randomize
