I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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