She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
