the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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