You really coming over, don't trick.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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