the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
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ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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