I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
