No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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