Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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