he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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