Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
