Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I just gargled with NyQuil
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize