I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'm passing your future prison.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
