do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
