Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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