she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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