I want to make a zoo with you.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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